I don’t know how to write this. I don’t even know how to begin. This stuff has been pouring out of me, regardless of how I felt about it. I toyed with the word ‘catharsis’ then discarded it, though it was correct. I was terribly embarrassed by what I had written, happy that no one was reading it, but still, it was out there in public. It was just about me. Just me, me, me. A vision had told me something which I didn’t understand.
After a few articles an empty feeling left me thinking I was finished and had to stop. That I would be violating something if I continued. I even appealed to a friend. He said the same word: Catharsis. Then I realized the empty feeling was only partial. The emptiness must be full, not partial. And the me was what I was leaving behind. “You must go through the doorway of yourself,” or something like that.
Mentally I could see other posts waiting to be written and there, in the last one (I hope), was something that I had never understood, but is what I’m doing right now. And I saw it so long ago. And a silly little thing that just typed itself yesterday had a link to it. I know this isn’t making any sense. It’s like that quote from George Carlin ~~ Even if I knew what was happening I wouldn’t know what to do about it.
Some visions are to be allowed simply to unfold. So I must continue.
Ojai22: Lessons Learned 