I’ve been asked a question about the seeing of dead people in the foregoing article that I will answer here. So I will attempt to make the earlier post a bit clearer, though it can be somewhat complicated.
It seems all my explanations are stories. My children had me figured out years ago — “Ask Mom a question and you get a story. Everything’s a story with Mom.” At the time I felt like I should be doing it differently, but have finally realized that’s who I am. Like the Captain and Zoie on Firefly, I have stories. And the battle scars to go with them.
QUESTION: I’m curious about something and I hope it doesn’t bother you if I ask. When you say that you see your deceased relatives, you mean it in a figurative sense, in dreams or you see them right in front of you?
Neither. The few people I’ve mentioned this to seem to misunderstand because they have no reference point. They can’t compare it to anything that is known to them so they say it’s just my imagination. It is different from imagination, but uses the same faculty. When you look at a memory, you’re using it. When you imagine a place you’d like to visit, you’re using it. But, when you look at, or imagine, a picture of something that is so personal to you, you are present with it. Involved with it, you feel it as part of you. This is how it seems to me but it may be more involved with the dead folks. I’m really seeing them and they are clearly somewhere else. Even the light is different. And they have no time as we know it.
Visions are different and I think some of them may be from The Akashic Record where all things are recorded. Visions happen whether you are awake or asleep but you NEVER mistake a dream for a vision. But this is not about visions.
When I see someone or something, I cease to see the outer world around me. My attention is focused on the person in front of me who I may see as surrounded by darkness, and they look smaller than normal as though they are far away. But clear and colorful without any light shining on them. God, I’m not saying this right!
Let me give you an example. A woman I used to know had told me something about another woman that actually she had made up, and was telling others that it was me. She died and I saw her soon after. She looked the same, but gave off the impression that her mouth was curled with scorn. I understood that she had been talking about me as the other woman. She wanted me to know it.
About a year passed and suddenly a darkness formed in my mind and my attention was drawn to it. She had been 70 years old when she died but suddenly I’m looking at the darkness and she comes striding along, bouncing, full of energy. She has no age but is youthful and totally beautiful. She reaches the spot in front of me and turns to face me. I don’t recognize her. She just stood there smiling, waiting till I figured it out. Her golden blonde hair cascaded down below her shoulders. She was energy itself. Suddenly I recognized her and her message started to come to me as though I was absorbing it mentally. I said, “You want to tell me something.” She keeps smiling and looking at me. “You want to tell me you’re sorry.”
How she let me know I was right was so strange. You know the game they have at carnivals and fairs – you use a mallet to hit a large button that sends an arrow up to the number of pounds your force sent it. Somewhat like a very large thermometer. If you get it to the top, you’ve hit the Jackpot and bells ring. That’s the sound she sent me, the sound of the bell that is very distinct. I had hit the jackpot!
As soon as I understood she turned and started walking peppily back the way she came. I called after her, “What about the others?” I was thinking about the people she had told her tales to. By then she had disappeared but I could still tell she was there and got a clear message from her: You tell them! I started to say, “But I….” It was too late. I knew she had gone, could feel it. The field of darkness disappeared and I was suddenly standing in the middle of the floor looking at the wall.
The way I see may not be the way others do. Some people can see dead people all the time, and can feel overpowered by it. There are those who actually make a living with it. They call it a gift as they have an open door that most folks don’t have. I would call mine a small window that has always been used for Guidance. For me that’s why it’s there. And it’s random. I’m alive today because of it. However, I don’t only see dead people. I see living ones, too and sometimes hear snatches of their conversations. The weird thing is, I can’t always tell if it has already happened or if its the future. But it will be something I need to know for my own growth, or to save my life. If I need to go through a terrible thing in order to grow, I get no message from anyone, anywhere.
Hardly anyone knows about this. I mentioned something I had seen to one of my sisters once, and discovered it was a mistake. I don’t know why I’ve started writing about it, why I suddenly have so much to say. Perhaps this diet has affected me strangely! Or perhaps all this stuff has just been waiting to get out.
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UPDATE. Since I wrote this 3 years ago, I have learned more about the events that have been taking place in my life. All that is in your mind, which you know as yourself, including what is in the recesses of your mind, must be seen from a point of view that is beyond thought, through Perception, but it starts with the known looking at itself. What I was seeing was the beginning of that. Much more has happened since then but it’s private.
Ojai22: Lessons Learned 